dreaming of a White Christmas ... however it has been raining in Vegas since LAST Thursday... Looks like a wet Christmas.. and not in the good way.

And ..Christmas being just around the corner. I am feeling ... a little lonely. It is strange to say that since, I have had nothing but a bustle of activity around me for the last couple of weeks.I am never alone. But I guess that it is Christmas... and everybody wants to be with somebody during the holidays. I have been trying to busy myself - finishing up painting my hand  painted ornaments that I am giving as gifts. I also have a LOT of baking that I have to do. I am busying myself making pumpkin bread- sugar cookies - and chocolate chip cookies. Yes all home-made. I am kind of a homey .. kind of girl.

Yesterday, I came home and I had been to the grocery store and I made spaghetti. My roommate Charmaine has been telling me not to worry I don't have to do all the cooking. But I am one of those people who likes to do for others. WarEagle had come over and helped me fix a broken toilet seat, and then put bulbs in all the lights that had burned out . With me being UN-able to get on a ladder it is difficult for me to do those things.  I don't understand him coming over or helping me ... because it is blatantly honest he doesn't have THOSE kinds of feelings for me . Which kind of just rips at my heart.  It is difficult to love someone so much that it just burns your soul. Unrequited love I believe they call it... I say it sucks.

I think this is probably one of the reasons why I am feeling so blue. Christmas comes around and all these feelings of wanting to cuddle and kiss come to mind. I think one of my biggest fantasies is probably having the Christmas tree up and lit up, the lights in the room down. Then making love in front of the Christmas tree.  

What else? I think I am updating my Christmas list.. does Santa bring people ... well if so I want him to bring me the ONE.  You know the ONE who will love me back ... the ONE who will want to see me everyday... The ONE I can kiss and cuddle and make love under the Christmas tree with. The ONE who loves animals as much as me. The ONE who can make me laugh. The ONE who can be in charge and not put up with my shit but who can also give me the freedom to be exactly who I am. The ONE who adores me -cherishes me- The ONE who fights with me , makes up with me, and knows that I am worth fighting for. The ONE who calls me beautiful and funny..sweet and kind... and believes it. 

and finally my hnt... one of the ornaments I made for Christmas... I hope you like

for other HNT goodness - see my wonderful OS