Happy Fucking Valentines Day! -

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Happy Fucking Valentines Day!

Posted by shibarir on February 13, 2011 at 3:04 PM

I finished my homework... and one of my mentors sent me a message telling me I did a good job. It feels a little hollow ... knowing how empty my inner circle is. But I am pushing through that and moving on .

I deserve : Good people in my life

People who are truthful with me

who love me

who know my quirks, my faults... and love me anyway

I will have these things.

They aren't happening right now. But they will.

I will not let myself get stuck in patterns that are toxic to me. Whether I change my phone number ... change my living location.. I will do whatever it takes to heal.

I have started with integrating my two selves.. The shibari me and the real me, the one that is the good girl.

I am working my way to wholeness.

So no valentine for me this year. But I grabbed some needle and thread and I am going to start sewing my heart back together.

Hopefully one day... someone will be interested in a used heart that has been quilted back together... I shall call it my patchwork heart.

In other news:

I am really tired this morning ... I have been on my foot way to much .. walking too much .. standing too much .. not elevating enough. I could barely walk the last two days. It is terribly painful . X sent me an email telling me to rest it today.

Why is it so much easier to listen to someone other than yourself?

That little suggestion.. really helped. Otherwise I would be all over the place to do, doing more than I should .

I am supposed to go to a rope class today at 4 but I just can't ...

I have laundry and some housework to do when I am not elevating.

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3 Comments

Reply GfWone

08:21 PM on February 16, 2011

Hi baby girl ... you are a beautiful, wonderful woman who has had a little bit of misadventure thrown her way, But being you, you come through time and time again.
I know that it must be tough always having to come through for yourself but it is building a woman who will raise her head high one day and have so much to be proud of.
You're already a stunning woman with the looks, the brains and the personality to win most guys over to your heart. All I can say is that there must be some pretty lame ducks in Vegas.
You're a package, Shi, one that I know I would like to open, slowly .
I just find it unfortunate for me that I am getting old ... older than I want to be anyway.

Love you babe

xxoxx

Reply Stix

12:34 AM on February 16, 2011

I deserve : Good people in my life
People who are truthful with me
who love me
who know my quirks, my faults... and love me anyway

Totally agree and I need to find that also

Reply BTExpress

04:27 PM on February 13, 2011

I hope you know that I love you and that I'll always truthful with you. Hang in there. It took Lori 17 years of being single until she met her perfect man, me. :-)

Welcome

Welcome to the Confessional

This is an Adult Blog. Absolutely NO MINORS.

About Shibari:

According to the shirt I am wearing... I am passionate talented young-hearted lovable gorgeous sexy fun cute easy-going strong-willed laugh-out-loud funny shy creative sophisticated fashionable intuitive fantastic edgy fabulous... I dig Domination/submission..bondage. I will try anything once... If I like it twice